Tuesday, 6 March 2012

Women with orange faces

So last Thursday the temperatures rose a little and the sun popped out for 5 minutes. All of a sudden, orange faces popped up everywhere I went, like little tangoed cartoon characters, minus the cuteness. What’s it all about, women with orange faces? And is this a UK only phenomenon?

Incase you’ve missed it, I’m talking about foundation that’s five shades too dark and makes the face look like a foreign body to the, um, body. Of course the body is often awash in a similar Fanta-esque tint and while I love fake tan as much as the next girl, there is a line. No, not the orange jawline; a metaphoric shouldn’t-be-crossed line.

The fabulous palm tree & pineapple girls from Channel 4’s ‘Big Fat Gypsy Wedding’ illustrate my point beautifully…

Big Fat Gypsy Weddings

Theirs is a slightly extreme example of course - it can happen to anyone…

I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been colour matched to a foundation or concealer that is evidently too dark for me… I’d say it happens 7 out of 10 times, by very reputable brands. I know that my foundation should not be darker than my natural skin tone. I know that it’s not flattering to wear a shade (or 3) too dark, but many others clearly trust the advise they’re given, pay large amounts of money for a product that’s not right for them - and think they’re doing the right thing.

Either that or they’re applying makeup in a darkened room or while still asleep. And if they really don’t have a clue, why do their friends not tell them - or do they only hang out with other women with orange faces?  To me it’s akin to not telling your friend their dress is inside out. It goes way beyond not mentioning that label poking out of your collar crime.

If you haven’t spotted one yet, said orange faces are usually accompanied by pale frosted lips, fluro cheek highlighter and spangly false lashes. Though these are far from the only guilty parties… they have also been spotted peeking over the top of a classy lady’s beautifully cut suit, glowing luridly behind an expensive swishy hair cut.

Go check the mirror girls. And check your friends’ faces next time you go out.  If they’re guilty, do them a favour & let them know.  No need to say you’ve been tangoed and look like an idiot, just suggest you go makeup shopping together & point out some more flattering foundation shades while you’re there. If you looked ridiculous would you not want to know?  As my great aunt used to say, do unto others as you’d have them do unto you…

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